i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I am midnight drunk by noon
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
