I'm gonna have a badass scar
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i believe in u and ur pee
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
