I love black thongs
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
