I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
