i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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