this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
