just tell him i said nine months
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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