officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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