you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
All I want is dick and wine.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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