know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
