She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
