i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
