Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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