Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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