he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
