I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
smell my finger.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
