why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
