I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
