I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize