I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
