Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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