She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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