I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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