I want to make a zoo with you.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
