girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
