like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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