They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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