Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
