i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
that is very illegal...i love you.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
