Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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