If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The adults are the big ones right?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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