Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
