haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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