i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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