The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
