Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize