Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
