i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
