it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
