Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
