By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
sarcasm needs its own font
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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