I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
