i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I want to be your penis for a week.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
