it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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