hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
