Do you still have your period?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
