The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So much rum. So many feels.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
