come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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