Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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