why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I party with great urgency now.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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