Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Randomize
