I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
