Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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