I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
This house was built for laser tag.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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