i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize