Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think my vagina is haunted
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
