What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
