found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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