i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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