Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
