Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
