I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
